Look, I don’t want to get too ahead of myself, but the weather this weekend has been gorgeous, which may mean that northern Nevada spring is actually here, and it’s quite welcome given the interminably long winter we’ve had. Seriously, it started snowing on New Years Eve and didn’t really stop until just a couple of weeks ago.
That’s only a slight exaggeration. It did seem like once the snow from one storm melted, we’d be hit with another. By the time we get to March and it’s still occasionally snowing, and the ski resorts are talking about how they’ll be open until the Fourth of July, we’re all pretty tired of it. Of course, I can always do without everyone incessantly complaining about the snow. Pretend like you live here, fellow northern Nevadans. Historically, it has snowed here every month except August (or so I’m told. The latest I remember is June). This is the weather. You know it. I know it. We’re all sick of it. Complaining about it neither changes it, nor makes it change any faster. We’ve all just got to wait it out.
Since it’s only mid-April, it wouldn’t surprise me at all if we get one more flurry, or even a moderate snowstorm in the next couple of weeks, although the long-range forecast doesn’t include it. But we all know the long-range forecast is just guessing after about five days. Even the forecasting models make mistakes.
Friends and readers, I would like each person who is laying eyes on these words, now or in the future, to make an agreement with me and all other adults of the world. The content of this agreement is as follows: we pledge to refrain from negative commentary regarding what our fellow adults place in their mouths for either nutritive or non-nutritive purposes.
In short, can we, as adults, please stop policing what other adults eat?
I am not precisely a proud picky eater, but more of an indifferent one. I don’t really wish I liked more things, because I think my diet is fine (and may include too much candy) and includes all the things I personally enjoy, but also because this is me and I don’t know another way to be.
Broccoli is gross. I like green peppers and peas and cucumbers, but I have an aversion to most things green and always have. It’s why I take vitamins. Most fish are a no-go. Don’t get me started on the condiments.
Actually, let’s talk about condiments. I don’t eat them at all, and that includes sour cream (gross) and any form of salad dressing (no, not even oil and vinegar. I like cheese and croutons on my salad and it’s DELICIOUS) And some of you condiment-eating folks will not let that slide.
“What do you eat with your fries?” Nothing, except salt and the burger I ordered them with, which is just the meat, cheese and bun. Sometimes lettuce, if I’m feeling adventurous that day. These days, I usually share fries with my dining companion (usually my daughter, who is not picky, will eat almost anything, and still only occasionally likes her fries with ketchup), because I only want a few.
“How can you eat that sandwich? Isn’t it dry?” Well, I eat my sandwich the same way you do, by taking a bite of it then masticating and swallowing. I suppose a lack of something moist (besides lettuce) would indicate that it’s dry, but I don’t notice because I’ve always eaten them this way.
The same thing goes for anything I–an adult with agency and thoughts and feelings of my own–deem to be gross or weird.
“You have to try this! It’s so good!” Uh, no thanks, that looks/sounds gross. Quite honestly, the best thing about being an adult is that I don’t have to try anything I don’t want to. And because I’m not adventurous, I often don’t want to.
“You should try it before you decide you don’t like it.” No. I’m an adult. Don’t want to.
“Just once?” No. And don’t ask again, because now I sound like a whiny child and not like the adult I have just repeatedly professed I am. Just leave me alone about it.
My favorite: “I don’t know how you can live eating like that. I couldn’t.” Someone actually said this to me once and the only answer I have is: I just do. I’ve always eaten like this, and I’m not likely to stop, least of all for the jackass who’s giving me a hard time about it.
I also don’t like my food to touch on my plate (and if you try to push it together with your fork, I will stab you with mine) but casseroles are fine. I don’t understand the phenomenon of breakfast for dinner because I don’t like breakfast food at breakfast time (seriously, it just makes me sluggish all day). Please don’t comment on it.
So let’s agree to do that. Not comment on what others are eating. You want a Tootsie Roll for lunch? Great! Soup for breakfast? You do you! Cheese, crackers and a pickle for dinner (I have done this, and since it is protein, carb, and vegetable, I claim it’s a complete meal)? Have at it!
If we can all agree to these completely reasonable terms, that will make me happy. I hope it makes you happy, too.
Vickie Jarman 